Saturday, September 15, 2012

Coping With Death....

"Grandpa has 48 hours to live"....

On August 24th, those words came crashing down on me.
I was really confused. I didnt even know my grandpa was sick! I guess he had been having seizures, and this last seizure paralyzed his throat enabling him to eat or swallow. He was on hospice.. so this last seizure gave him 48 hours to live. My grandma has been pretty sick for YEARS now. No one thought my Grandpa would go before my Grandma. It was just such a huge shock.

After the confusion came the guilt.
Braylee hadnt even met my Grandpa yet, and Braylee is 3 years old! And that really hit me hard. I know we are all busy, and my Grandparents had been in a nursing home sense Bray was born, but how could i loose touch like that? I didnt want Braylee's first time meeting my Grandpa to be when he was on his death bed.. but thats how it was going to be.

I knew i had to go that evening to go see my Grandpa.

On the car ride up to where my grandpa was, i had a lot going through my head. The guilt. How hard it was going to be to see my goofy Grandpa in such a horrible state. 

Me (and fam), My sister (and her fam) with my Grandma.
(Photo taken by my Aunt Rosanne)

Braylee's first time meeting my grandparents was so sweet. She was shy but kept smiling at them. Would point as say "mom that's your grandma!" "Mom thats your Grandpa!".

Ive never had anyone close to me pass away yet. Not a family member. So this was my first Grandparent to go. My Grandpa Buhler was the Grandpa i was closer to i guess you could say (My other Grandpa lives in Connecticut). As kids my dad took us to Grandma and Grandpa's house almost every Sunday. We'd get there, go straight to the penny stache, and get some gum out of the gum ball machine. My Grandpa's farm was on about 20 acres of land. Streams, huge swing set, coal piles, out house, full of animals, HUNDREDS of cars, and lots of other things. The cousins loved to explore it. So many good memories.

The next morning, my Grandpa passed...

Im so glad we made it up there that night.

RIP Grandpa...
(will post on the funeral another day)
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