Wednesday, October 26, 2011

{Not at ALL Wordless Wednesday}

Im going to start off this "wordless wednesday" with a little vent. Lately i dont know what my deal is. Im just always so down in the dumps and that is NOT me! I hate it! I dont want to blog, i dont want to clean my house, i dont want to eat, every little thing i take SO personally. Im so sensitive. I feel like my friend count has GREATLY decreased. I dont have any support anymore. Im totally fine with my bubble of tight nit friends but when i look at the big picture, its depressing at how un-involved and un-supportive my "friends" are. Keep in mind i am NOT talking about my close friends. They know who they are. Which is so weird cuz wouldnt any normal person want to have few REAL friends then lots of FAKE friends? I dont get what my deal is! Even with my family.. no one likes to take that 20 minute drive to come visit. But by golly its totally fine for us to make that drive at LEAST 2 times a week. Even with my husband's new work schedule i hardly get to see him or he is sleeping due to getting up earlier each day. I guess it just gets really lonely. Especially when your close friends start to distance from you too. I just feel like i have no one to turn to. Not even my bubble.

I think what it all breaks down to is my thyroid! Its been 8 months now of busting my A** with diets and working out and NOTHING. They keep increasing and increasing my meds and yet it is ALWAYS off. Its so FRUSTRATING! You guys dont even understand the level of frustration!

8 effing months of always staying positive and hoping for the best and never giving up. Well i guess its just all taking a toll on me now. Its the base of all the things spiralling out of control. I cant even handle my emotions. I so badly just want to shut down and give up.

I Know hope i can pull out of this rut soon. Its just not me to be acting this way.

All i can say is i CANT WAIT till the beginning of December when we can just get away! Get out of freaking Utah haha.

Anyway... on to wordless wednesday.
We bounce from summer to winter... so here is one of our summer days.
We went on a bike ride.

 Adventuring is dangerous! lol
And this happened BEFORE i got on the bike, from the bike haha

 i love my little girls :)
(i especially love how me and bray and posing
and makaibree is just like "you guys are LAME" haha)

:( lol.
Yes i was being a baby over my deep lacerations haha.
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