Tuesday, September 20, 2011

True Happiness...

Oh HEEEEEEEY! Remember me!? I apologise for being so absent from the blogging world. I will try to reply to your comments (if your email is linked up to your profile) and visit back! Ive been trying to finish up editing some photo sessions and had a funeral yesterday. That took alot out of me. Crying always drains me. But anyway... on to what i am posting about.

With becoming a SAHM (stay at home mom) or WORK at home mom is a better term, saving money and conserving your spending habits becomes a BIG part of your life. Couponing is really big now a days. Now there are MANY ways to save money. Some take alot of time and planning and well, i just dont have the patients for that. Im sure one day i will.

But what i want to focus on in this post is the simple stuff. Not eating out as much is really where we are saving all of our money and what made it possible for me to quit my job. We sat down and budgeted out and realized we spent ALOT each month eating out. Making home made meals is so much more fun anyway! I love planning meals and grocery shopping and making meals. I feel like a housewife and mommy! I know that sounds cuz i was a wife and mom before but before it was stressful to work and have to deal with conflicts of needing days off, and meetings, and finding babysitters for those meetings, and babysitting the 3 extra girls i babysit and do photography and have to clean and cook on top of that! And i only worked 2 times a week! I cant even fathom how you full time moms do it and maintain your sanity! (notice how i said maintaining your sanity). Which brings me to my next point.

First off, im NOT judging ANYONE. Everyone has their own way of doing things and no one way is the ONLY way. There is nothing wrong with being a working mom. Some women just CAN NOT stay home all the time. They'd loose their mind. And with the economy now a days, for some people, both parents just HAVE to work.

But when you are stressing yourself out just for a luxurious lifestyle, whats the point?! So you can go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and name brands and put your kid in RIDICULOUSLY expensive clothes. Go out to eat all the time cuz your too lazy to cook (been there haha). Buy boats, and toys, and whatever else. Spend SOOOOOOO much money on daycare just so you can work alot. I mean yea that all nice but when you are stressing yourself out depriving your child you mommy/daddy time (for you stay at home at home dads or work less dads).

Yea all that stuff is nice. But I'd MUCH rather make tiny sacrifices to be able to be home with my baby girl. Its really not a big deal going to Ross for my clothes. Its really not a big deal to make more homemade meals (its more fun anyway!). Its really not a big deal getting Braylee's clothes from Carters rather than Baby Gap. I still get to get my hair done (boxed hair dye is just as good too!). I still buy Toms, and Fox brand clothing, and Crazy8/Gymboree/Baby Gap clothes for Braylee. Jeff still gets stuff for his dirt bike and riding. We still go out to eat. Go to movies. We still do all of that! The trick is that we budget, we plan, we save, we pinch a penny here to spend a penny there! We have almost NO credit card dept. You wanna know how?? WE DONT SPEND MONEY THAT WE DONT HAVE! I seriously dont get how people get themselves into DEEP DEEP dept on things like clothes and silly things.

If you have the money then do all that! There is nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is when you DONT have the money. Or you over work yourself to have LOADS of UNNECESSARY money. My make yourself unhappy to gain this IDEA of happiness in having money. We all know money doesnt buy happiness. And yet so many people live in that notion.

What do you think of when you picture a HAPPY family. I bet that what your thinking about is a mom and dad (or one or the other for single parents), with their children, smiling and laughing. Spending time with EACH OTHER. Playing at a park, or i think of Christmas alot. A time where its ALL about family. If you didnt picture that then i bet it was something to that extend ;).

I'd almost bet $100 dollars that when you think of a HAPPY family, you DONT thinking about both parents working full time and never seeing their kids. Parents STRESSING themselves which causes self and spousal issues.

Like i mentioned before, sometimes you just dont have a choice. The economy is in the DUMPS. I get it.

This is coming from someone who grew up with that extravagant lifestyle. My mom worked hard to get her R.N. She has worked full time sense i can remember. We had nice things. Lived in a nice house. Went to Disneyland. Went to Connecticut a few times to visit my grandparents. Had swim lessons, did sports, got our hair deep conditioned after every summer with all those swim lessons. Piano lesson. And dont get me wrong, i appreciate it all. Im not ungrateful in the least bit. And my mom made up work for what we wanted. Nothing was just handed to us. I really appreciate her teaching us that aspect in life. But as a child i just remember always wanting my mom. I just wanted to come home from school and have her be there to hug me and ask how my day was. I'd go over to my friend's houses and their mom would always be there helping them with homework, and whatever else.
But i am NOT playing the pity card here either. My family has always been VERY family oriented. Lots of camping trips, family dinners, family bonding, good values. we were very well rounded. So dont get me wrong here.

Just like on the other extreme though, dont sit home and be a bum and let your kids starve and run around in raggy clothes either. Ya know. WE GOTTA FIND THAT BALANCE of the two extremes.
I hope this doesnt offend anyone cuz that is not my point. My point is that we all need to find our own TRUE HAPPINESS. Not the fake fool's paradise is having extravagant money to blow. We all do what works best for our own selves. I think i mostly just write this because i feel so blessed to be able to stay home with Braylee. I am so much happier. When she (and our next and last kid) are older, i will go back to school and do all that. But for now, i want to raise my kids how i want them raised :)
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