Monday, July 11, 2011

Scared to be a SAHM! :(

SAHM=Stay At Home Mom

i need everyone's opinion!
ill throw in some random pics for fun. They dont apply to this post. FYI lol.

I've been thinking ALOT lately about taking the plunge and quitting my job. Our goal is for me to eventually be a stay at home mom. i currently only work 2 days a week and only bring in about $400-$450 a month. And really all my checks are used for is one car payment which is like $240 ish? But even then, its mostly play money or our "cushion" as we like to call it for when Jeff's checks are a little shorter than normal. But lately my job is just getting worse and worse. They treat their employees like DIRT, almost everyone is quitting or stepping down, i swear every time i go into work, there is something new to make my life more difficult. It started with they just up and changed my schedule without my consent. I tried to fight it but didnt get very far. So i had to start randomly alternating Saturdays which made Jeff have to quit his summer saturday job. How is that right? How can a company say, "oh hey, by the way, you have to work saturdays now. Oh you have a kid and dont have a babysitter on Saturdays? Oh you have a second job that you do on Saturdays alot (photography). Well i guess if you dont show up you'll just loose your job. We dont care about you". I mean really? I have random meetings during the months that i have to drive 30 miles to take Braylee to my mom, then 30 miles back to my meeting, then 30 miles back to pick of Bray, to come 30 miles home. The latest thing is we now have to clock out for our 30 min lunches (i work at a nursing home and before we could just eat dinner with the residents and assist them with dinner). Which means i have to stay 30 min later and work till 9:30pm when Jeff goes to bed at 8pm and sometimes Braylee doesnt go right down for bed. I mean my job is just REALLY wearing on me and its making me depressed. Also with jeff working such long days during the summer i hardly see him. So our relationship gets stressed.

Then there is my photography. I have such a PASSION for it and it makes me happy. I dont know what it is, but it just comes naturally and i have the DRIVE to pursue it further. But ive had to turn down and postpone to many oportunities due to having to work. And my editing takes longer to get done when i work. I always said i never want to RELY on the money i make from photography. But its starting to look like a possibility.

Me and Jeff talk about me not working alot and Jeff always assures me that we can do it. If worse comes to worse we can let our car go. We have two other vehicles. The only thing that scares me is his car isnt as reliable as mine cuz its alot older. Mine is an 09. But, if i quit i can focus more on photography and bring in the small amount of extra money we need. But even if i wasnt doing photography, id be quitting my job.

Anyone have any opinions? Experience stories? Words of advice? Anything is helpful :)

ps.... isnt that baby doll funny?!
It trips everyone out when they see it and mistake it for a real baby.
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