Thursday, July 21, 2011

Love to Hate Myself...

Why do girls love to hate themselves??

I mean seriously. We focus more on the negative than the positive. Its hard to not look in the mirror and see something we dont like. How often do you just stand in front of the mirror being sad. Whether your staring at your nose that you hate, or your eyes that are too far apart or too close. Your boobs that are too small. That fat roll that just wont go away. Those thunder thighs. That cellulite. The droopy "mom bum", or whatever your flaw/flaws might be. I am AMAZED at some of the crazy things girls can come up with.


I guess i am blogging about this because i have been having a really hard time with this the last few weeks. Its frustrating when your working so hard to get fit and not be getting ANYWHERE due to your thyroid. Ya know and its not just that i "want to be skinny". I dont want to be skinny. I want to be healthy.

2 years now and ive tried EVERYTHING. I explain this in my weight loss tab under my header but after high school and getting married, i gained 20 pounds. Got pregnant, had high blood pressure, gained another 60 pounds. THATS 80 POUNDS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I lost 30 right off the bat from water weight. I did the HCG diet a year ago, and lost another 20. Well here i am, a year later, still 30 pounds over weight. I havent' lost anything sense then. Ive dont Jillian Micheals 30 day shred, do her yoga and no more trouble zone workouts. Did alot of cycling. Did the clean eating for a while. Did Chalene Johnsons turbo jam workouts. Did the entire INSANITY 60 day workouts. I watch what i eat and eat healthy. And NOTHING is working. Do you know how frustrating and depressing that is??

Ive struggled with eating disorders in high school but i REFUSE to go to that level. IM BETTER THAN THAT. IM STRONGER THAN THAT. And i think thats what's so frustrating. Im NOT giving up. Im not being lazy. Im not taking the "easy" route. (not that starving yourself is easy). Im staying strong and working my A** OFF!

Im just finally at the point where i cant fight off the depression. I cant hold myself high anymore. Im slowly giving up. Im counting down the days to my next endocrinologist appt. One more week. I literally want to crawl up in a ball and just wait for wednesday to get here.

I just hate feeling like this. Normally i am so positive. I like to set the example. Set the bar high. Be someone that people can look up to. Be an inspiration for. And i feel like im slowly loosing that. And i hate it.

Lets get back to happy town!

Sorry about all the negative talk. Like i said im just at that breaking point. So girls, this coming week, lets set a goal. We are going to look at all the POSITIVES about ourselves. We need to set the bar high and be examples. ESPECIALLY if we have kids, even more important, daughters. We need to break the cycle and teach girls to appreciate ourselves and KNOW that we are BEAUTIFUL.

I need some positive vibes. So here is the plan, lets start this week by making a post of EVERYTHING we love about ourselves. And i want to read them. So im gonna do a link up and im going to read each and every one. Ive never done a linky before so lets hope it works lol. Let me know if it isnt working

If you'd like you can copy this code
young and restless

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