Thursday, June 23, 2011

Birthday Princess... sad face

Its true. 2 years ago today, at 7:40pm, my life changed forever. You can read her short and simple birth story {{HERE}}
(4 days old)

Words CAN NOT even describe the joy of becoming a mother. You hear of people who say they never want to have kids, and accidentally get pregnant, and they always say how wrong they were on not wanting kids. Of course its definitely not easy by all means but there is no other thing in this life that is more rewarding than becoming a mother/father. Of course its a little but different for a mother. Sorry daddy's but you know its true. Mother's have so much more of a special bond with carrying their child in their belly for 9 months and giving birth which is NOT easy. Im not saying that some daddy's wouldnt trade places in a heartbeat (or not after seeing a birth lol).

I feel like me and Braylee have even more of a special bond, beyond the motherly bond. She is SUCH a momma's girl. I have had 2 miscarriages now and the fact that i made it through my pregnancy with Braylee is special in and of itself. I had SOOO many complications while pregnant. But she made it here, safe and sound. I sacrificed so much for her (my 19 year old cute body being the biggest thing haha). I gave up being young. Which Braylee WAS planned. We wanted her even though we were young. We are exactly 20 years, and 20 days apart. So many people have kids and still think they can be young just because they are young. They go out partying all the time and their excuse always is "i deserve to go out and be young!". Well yea, every parent needs time for themselves. Go out, have fun, but every weekend??. If you feel that is ok then obviously you werent ready to be a parent. Me and jeff go to our best friends house every weekend but its a family setting. Braylee is with us and goes to bed in her pack and play. We aren't partying and being crazy. We just have a simple bbq, play darts, watch movies, have water fights, make smores, we have SO much fun but we aren't PARTYING and being crazy and irresponsible. Everyone will try to justify themselves and lash out on how its "okay" but no, if you think you are ready to be a parent, PARTYING, is done for you. Anyway... sorry about that vent. Thats like the biggest thing you run into with being a young parent.

Another reason that me and Braylee have such a special bond happened when she was 2 months old. I have talked about this before and mention it here and there. But when i mention it im not doing it in a bad way. We have healed and HONESTLY, i wouldnt change anything that happened in the past. It seriously made us so much stronger. So for all my new followers, here it is in a nut shell.

I had a lot of medical issues while pregnant and had to quit working when i was like 10 weeks along. So we went the entire pregnancy, plus the 3 months maternity time after baby was born with only one income and we werent ready for that. Jeff was working 3 jobs, we were both really stressed, then BAM, new baby and all the stresses of adjusting to a new baby. We couldnt even afford for Jeff to take time off work when Braylee was born. He was there for the birth but after that, i was alone in the hospital. Braylee had colic, she never slept, was backwards with her nights and days, and i was doing it all by myself. Jeff drives truck and got up at 3:45am and you cant go to work drowsy when you drive truck. So i was up all night, by myself. Then all day doing it on my own while jeff worked his 3 different jobs. Yea there was a BIG strain on our relationship. So when Braylee was 2 months old, we split.

During that time i relied so much on my daughter. Sounds weird to be relying on a baby but what i mean by that was she was my strength. My only reason to get out of bed every day and stay strong.

Happy ending though, we made it through and at 5 months old we decided to make things work. And seriously our relationship has NEVER been stronger. In all the (4 years at the time) of being together, it was never as strong. Everything happens for a reason and i think that was our big relationship strengthener :).

Braylee has such an amazing father who is so involved and i dont even have to ask. its simply so amazing. And i kinda think she has a pretty cool mom too :). This little girl is our WORLD. She has so many friends and family who love her too. She is seriously this bright shining light. This little ball of energy who can brighten anyone's day.

I love you soooooo much Braylee Ann :)
Happy Birthday my sweet tiny peanut baby princess :)
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