Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 4

something you have to forgive SOMEONE for......

Unfortunately, this one came to me fairly quickly. Those of you that have followed my blog for a while have heard my story but for those of you who haven't i will explain it in a nut shell.

This is about my Husband. And i will explain.

I found out i was pregnant November of 2008. Braylee was planned. We were ready.
Well by February of 2009 i had to quit working due to high blood pressure. Just being on my feet walking around made it sky rocket. Needless to say things got pretty stressful. Jeff was working 3 jobs to make the ends meet. Then when Braylee came the stress just got worse cuz she was a REALLY hard newborn. She had colic, wouldn't sleep more than 2 hours for the longest time. then wouldn't sleep at night AT ALL. She had her nights and days backwards. Well due to the lack of sleep and stress and lack of money our relationship was really strained.

Well when Braylee was 2 months old, Jeff left me.

haha see im crying all ready, im still not over it completely. it brings up alot of pain and memories.

i wont get into the details but it was hard. Again i cant even explain my gratitude of my sister becky who let me and my colic non sleep baby live with her. She helped me out so much (ahhh im like bawling now! ah!) My entire family was so supportive. i love you all soo much.

i hate even talking about this cuz i just want to forget about it but its 30 days of TRUTH right?? its been like a year and a half and i can HONESTLY say that i am sooo close to fully forgiving him. I dont have the break downs any more, i hardly think about it and when it does come up i dont feel all the pain and anger.

Our relationship now is HONESTLY (i put it on my life!) the best it has EVER been in all the 5 years of being together. Jeff got on depression meds and we got reconnected with our church and he just snapped out of it i guess. i cant explain the come around all that matters is that he did come around. We hardly fight, he is so much more sensitive and understanding ect. He is hands down the BEST daddy too. He is sooo good with her.

i hope no one thinks less of my husband after opening up about this cuz like i said, things are sooo amazing now. Sometimes hard times in our life only makes us stronger.

i love you soo much Jeff!!
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